Randomness

Apparently, I am 80. I don't know if I slept weird or what, but my back is killing me. Especially my entire right side from my head to my hips. And I couldn't get a massage appointment until Friday. I'm dying. No, really. Tonight it's a hot shower and a muscle relaxer. Stat.

My fingers are crossed for a snow today tomorrow, but it's not looking too good. As much as I don't really enjoy winter, I was looking forward to one good snowy day. And you can't get more romantic than snow for Valentine's Day. Michael and I once got snowed in at a beautiful bed and breakfast in Chatham, MA for Valentine's Day. It was gorgeous.

Speaking of Valentine's Day, I was pleasantly surprised to hear from Michael seeing if I could leave work a little early tomorrow. He made reservations at my favorite restaurant. I wasn't expecting dinner since we usually just do cards, but it's very sweet and made my day.

For some reason my blog traffic has been especially heavy today. I think it must be because I wrote about religion yesterday. And people have been reading from all over the world. Which is actually very cool.

Friday Ramblings

On Friday's I usually wear jeans to work. But not jeans jeans. I reserve my cute Ann Taylor denim trouser pants for Fridays. But today I decided to wear regular jeans. And I feel weird. Under-dressed despite my cashmere sweater and non-snow (I know) boots.

It seems like people really check out on Fridays. The office atmosphere is more relaxed, people step away from their desks. Keyboards are suspiciously quieter. My already mellow boss finds new things in the office drum on with his drumsticks. Quite often there's an invitation for lunch, an excuse to take a walk or an extended phone call. The promise of the weekend, two glorious days off, is no longer days away.

And tomorrow I'm meeting Sass for lunch! I'm excited, but nervous too. Will she like me? Will I like her? Are we both really the people we portray in our blogs? I have a feeling that once we get passed the initial this-feels-like-a-first-date jitters, it's going to be a really good time.

I just hope no more freaky snow comes out of nowhere. A slight dusting, they said. Slight dusting my ass. Southern Rhode Island got clobbered, which meant people on the road drove. very. very. slow. It was pretty, though. And watching the dog prance and jump and run laps around the yard was very cute.

Weekend, I'm ready for you.

Randomness...or Sneakers and Speakers*

This week is the first full week I've worked since Christmas. It's been so tough to get up early five days in a row. I mean, God. The agony.

I left 15 minutes early today because I was up! And ready! So why not?(!) Apparently leaving 15 minutes early means you will encounter 10 times as many asshats on the road. Lesson learned: no more leaving early.

I went out last night for my mid-week martinis with Jen. We ran into some people she went to high school with, including a guy I worked with briefly at a coffee shop in college. He didn't recognize me. I guess I'm just that memorable.

*During the conversation he mentioned that earlier in the day he had bought sneakers and speakers. I just liked the way it sounds.

Also in that group of people was a guy that apparently applied for my job. Obviously, he did not get it. Because I did. Awkward...

And towards the end of the evening a group of people erupted in applause because a couple got engaged in the bar. My thoughts alternated between "They just got engaged in the bar!" to "They just got engaged in the bar?" Well, OK. Thoughts? Let's be honest here. That was said out loud. Blame it on the two martinis.

While getting ready to run the dishwasher this morning I happened to stop and read the label.

On the front: New! So effective, no need to prewash!

On the back: For best results fill both regular and prewash compartments.

Huh.

And finally, it's National De-Lurking Week! I know you're out there, I check my stats. You're all over the world! So stop by and say Hi. Love me? Let me know. Hate me? Let me know that, too. I can take it. And all those loyal readers that have never commented (cough, JEN) here's your chance.

Randomness

* I've had good luck with cops today. I got winked at by a young boy in blue while waiting at a traffic stop and when I made a very quick left turn through a yellow light after getting off the highway a cop was looking in the opposite direction. Phew!

* I love listening to Christmas music to and from work. But Auld Lang Syne always makes me teary for some reason. Doesn't help that my birthday is New Years Eve. I suppose I can always blame it on champagne bubbles.

* I really dislike morning radio. I've been forgoing the iPod for a few weeks now to listen to Christmas music, but it's really not worth it. I'll hear one song and then 10 minutes of DJs babbling on about stupid topics. If I wanted talk-radio, I'd listen to talk-radio. I want music.

I used to listen to one station on the way in to work because my boss was a guest host twice a week. I'd listen specifically so I could come in and discuss the morning topics. (Or make fun of him, because I did that too.) He's not on the air anymore so until the Christmas music started, I didn't really have a reason to listen.

Evening radio is great. Lots of music, few commercials. Whose idea was it to give two annoying people rein of my morning commute? Whose? It wouldn't even be that bad if stations coordinated their commercials. So when one breaks, the other is playing music. But, no. They don't do that. It's like torture.

* So, question: I have a hair appointment coming up right before Christmas. I always tip my stylist well, 20%. But since my appointment is right before the holiday, should I tip her more? Or bring a little gift? What do you suggest?

In Which I Say "Meatballs"...Twice

I woke up this morning to a text saying that Christmas music was on the radio. (Thanks, Jen!) I know it's a cliche, but this really is my favorite time of year. There's something about Thanksgiving through New Years that's so warm and cozy and happy. I love it.

So despite the fact that it's 60 degrees out, I listened to Christmas music the whole ride to work and now have it playing at my desk. Yay! Michael (a.k.a. Scrooge) will cringe when he reads this. He doesn't want to hear Christmas music until the week of Christmas, and even then he thinks it's too much. Too bad he lives with me!

I've already bopped around my desk to Mariah ("All I want for Christmas is yoouuuuu!") and am currently being serenaded by Frosty the Snowman. Love it!

On to some randomness, because really, it's Friday.

I confessed to Michael that I look at wedding stuff and that I might possibly (i.e. absolutely) have found the place for a reception. As in, I started drooling all over myself when I found it. And we could afford it! And...hi, I'm not even engaged.

His response? He wasn't surprised. Or freaked out. He laughed...and then smiled. He's so cute.

I really pushed myself at the gym last night (yes, I did go!) and as a result I am not wearing heels today. Legs = ow. But a good ow.

Tomorrow is a big day. Tomorrow I am going to Ikea. IKEA! The magical store that goes on forever and has stemware, couches, beds and meatballs! Couches and meatballs! In the same store! Oh those crazy Scandinavians!

I've been given some tips to survive my first experience within the window-less blue box. Bring a granola bar. Follow the signs. Charge your cell before leaving and always have a buddy. With these tips I'm sure popping my Ikea cherry will be a fun adventure. Details to follow.

Happy Friday!

"Siillllleeeent Niiight. Hooooooly Niiiight..."

Friday Ramblings

I am so ready for the weekend. It's been one of those weeks where I feel so disconnected from myself...like I'm functioning and going about my daily business but not really here. Does that make any sense? No? I guess a simpler way to say it is I feel really out of it.

Aside from the fact that I have a ton to do this afternoon and no real time to do it and I still haven't cleaned the house even though Boobeski is coming tonight, I think it will be a good weekend.

And despite the small fortune I spent on my hair last night, the weekend will be filled with good company, good food, good drink and outlet shopping. Discounted shoes? YES.

And my hair? I can't stop touching it. Because it's so soft and smells like deliciously expensive hair products that I won't buy for myself.

And this post? Are you bored out of your skull from reading it?

In the Mood for Some Randomness? Yeah, You Are.

*I am not a morning person. I have never been a morning person, nor will I ever be a morning person. If left to sleep in I usually wake up around 8:30 anyway. Not wasting any precious time, people.

I can do the whole get-up-for-work thing. Somehow I actually manage to get everything done in an hour and out the door on time. But today? Today was not a usual day. Today was Get To Work An Hour Early Day for an all-staff meeting. Yaaaay.

Let me just tell you, even showering and making my lunch the night before did not make getting up an hour earlier any easier. Because, did you know it's DARK at 6 a.m.? And cold? And I had to wake the dog up because even HE was still sleeping!! Um, yeah. The only time I see 6 a.m. is when I open my eyes and groggily look and the clock and think "mmm, one more hour," before zonking back out. One hour apparently makes a huge difference. And three cups of caffeinated tea? Only makes you pee. A lot. So now I'm tired. And a little cranky. So I will complain to you.

*My boss is taping a segment on the Montel Williams Show today. (About our place of business, not because he's someone's baby's daddy. Well, he is...but he's, like, married to her and stuff....)
Did you know that show was still on? It is. In all it's glory. Yesterday we spent some time deciding what he should wear to the taping. He decided on a shirt and tie and looked very presentable and camera-ready.

But if I were on the Montel Show? I'd totally go Lycra jumpsuit. Way more appropriate for when I confront the audience members.

"Shut yo mouth! You don't even know me! I look good! I look good! Look at you! You don't even know me!"

OK....so that's more Jenny Jones. Or Ricki Lake. (Ricki! Ricki! Ricki!) Where did all the good TV go?

* I had to pick a speaker up at the airport the other day. While I was waiting for him an old man in full lederhosen walked by me. Then he stopped. And turned around. And hit on me. An old man. In LEDERHOSEN.

Better watch out, Michael.

Morning Thoughts

*Every day on my way to work I pass the same car. A white Intrepid with four bumper stickers: 94 HJY, B101 and two Sushi Go stickers.

He's usually driving about five miles slower than me and we usually glance at each other as I pass him. One co-commuter to the next.

Today, however, things were a little different. As I merged onto Rt. 1 I saw a car quickly approaching in my rear view mirror. Suddenly, Mr. Bumper Sticker flew by me, looking directly at me as he did. I was so surprised! Was he late? Did he see it was me and decided today would be the day he was the faster car? Was this an invitation to rumble?

Ten minutes later I strolled on by him, as he had slowed down to his usual speed. I don't get it.

*I also passed a school bus with tinted windows. Tinted Windows! When did school buses get pimped out?

I heard that Snoop Dog coaches some youth football league and pimped out their bus like no other. Speakers in the seats, flat screen TVs. Maybe the Westerly School District is taking cues from the Dog himself. What's next? Gin and juice boxes?

I Know You Know I Know

Message received this morning:

"Hi Molly, this is Donna calling from [dentist's] office. Just calling to confirm your appointment for Thursday. Please confirm you got this message by calling to confirm your appointment. Thank you."

So what do I say?

"I'm calling to confirm your message confirming my confirmed appointment?"

Randomness

*What is it about the hours between 3 and 5? I like my job (I'm serious. I really do like my job!) but even with stuff to do those last two hours just drag.

*I mentioned how The Last Kiss is completely heart-wrenching. So I'm coming down from the bad after taste of the movie as I'm scanning the channels last night. I stop on Nip/Tuck. Just as the married plastic surgeon is cheating on his pregnant wife! What the hell?! Insert psycho internal conflict:

-Oh my god he's going to cheat on me.

-No he's not. He loves you. He would never cheat on you.

-But what if he meets some perky brunette (ahhh die Rachel Bilson) and has an affair.

-He loves you

-Arrrrrrggghhhhhh!!!

Cut to Michael reassuring me that, no, he would never cheat on me. He loves me. He will always love me.

I'm sticking to romantic comedies from now on.

*I have to go grocery shopping. I hate grocery shopping. The responsible part of me heads to the chicken, the vegetables and healthy cereal, stocking up for the week ahead.

The irresponsible part of me (the one that is still an 18-year old loose in the store for the first time..."I'm on my own! I can eat whatever I want!") is eyeing the peanut butter cup ice cream and the Doritos. The thing is, I'm not 18 anymore. When I was 18 I could eat a huge bowl of pasta with butter and Parmesan cheese (mmmmmm), then turn around and eat half a pint of ice cream and never see a fluctuation in my weight.

Yeah. That's not the case anymore. I guess I'll be heading directly to the fruits and vegetables. Although let's be honest, when Michael works late I sometimes still eat that big bowl of pasta. It's so easy.

And SO GOOD.

Yee Ha....

Carrie Underwood is going to be the spokes pop idol for a literacy program in Oklahoma called "Read Ya'll."

Oh. My.

Randomness

*Why do Jeep drivers need to wave at every Jeep they pass? I don't wave at every Honda that goes by. Is this some sort of culture that I don't understand? I was behind a guy in a Jeep the other day and he must have waved at four Jeeps in 10 minutes. And none of them waved back!

*Fall is officially here. We took off the summer quilt and put on the fluffy white down comforter. I love it! So cozy.

* Hey, zit. Yeah, you. The one that wanted to pop up on my chin. Get the hell away from me and go find some greasy 15 year old boy to live on. I'm too old for your nonsense.

*Britney Spears has another child. Does this make anyone else nervous

*I was watching tv the other night and stopped to take a look around me. Snuggled up next to me on the couch, reading his magazine under the light of the cute new lamps I bought, was Michael. Puppa was snoozing at our feet. Michael looked up at me, smiled, and ran his hand through my hair.

I'm really lucky.

Randomness

1. Why is it virtually impossible to open the packaging on CVS brand Imodium? It's like the manufacturers are playing a sick joke on you. Need some advil? Just unscrew the lid. In need of something for your allergies? Just pop out the pill. But need something for the tummy and nooooo. Cut to me jabbing nail sissors into the packaging and cursing loudly.

2. Why do people feel it is necessary to bathe in perfume? Other people might not enjoy that particular smell. Or it might cause one to sneeze multiple times and consider taking some allergy meds. (Just pop out the pill!)

3. It's raining. Hard. You know what that means. It's me against Route 1 today.

4. Michael works a lot in the summer. I'm ok with it most of the time. I've accepted that overtime is sparse the rest of the year and now is the time for him to take it. But I'm usually prepared. Yesterday afternoon I was taken off guard. I assumed he was home for the whole night, but when he woke in the late afternoon after working an overnight he told me he had to be back at work for 6 p.m. ordinarily this would have been ok, but I was so excited about spending time with him that this broke me. I cried. It wasn't pretty. We're talking snot bubbles.

And then, after calming down, the masochist in me decided it would be a good idea to watch A Walk to Remember. More snot bubbles.

5. Rain and shoes don't get along.

Noodles?

Did you know that Pluto is no longer a planet?

I think this is so weird. We're all going about our normal every day business when BAM! No more Pluto.

Who is this International Astronomical Union anyway? What gives them the right to take away Pluto? And how come I didn't get to vote?

Maybe I liked Pluto. I think Uranus should have gone. He's an ass anyway. (Oh come on, you liked the joke.)

So now we have Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune.

My Very Eager Mother Just Served Us.....Noodles?

(Ok, I stole the noodle thing from my boss. Credit where credit is due.)

It's all Chinese to me

I'm waiting in the Chinese restaurant for my lunch. I'm following the correct waiting-for-your-food protocol, minding my own business while not looking at any one person in particular.

"Is the food good here?" A woman next to me asks.

"I've only been here once but it was pretty good," I reply.

Woman: "What did you have?" (She is not following protocol.)

Me: "Um, I think it was orange chicken."

W: "What did it taste like?"

M: "Orange chicken." (I pretend to read something off the wall menu. I will her to stop talking to me.)

W: "What does other Chinese food taste like?"

M: "Excuse me?"

W: "You know, like the noodles and stuff."

M: "Have you ever had Chinese food before?"

W: "Yes, lots of times."

M: "Ok...."

Woman pauses. "You have really tan feet."

Happy Monday!

Randomness

Seen driving home from work:

A red Chevy 4x4 with a beat up cap. "Just Married" written all over the windows. White ballooons filling up the cab.

This truck's got big balls" bumper sticker on the tailgate.

Sounds like quite the catch.