Wednesday, October 25, 2006

A Hairy Situation

Women don't have it easy. When it comes to the bathroom, that is. Here's the thing. We were not born with an extra appendage. In all other life situations I am quite happy to be sporting a va-jing and not walking around with something wagging between my legs.

But when it comes to the bathroom, particularly a public bathroom, well, guys just have it made.

All the ladies reading are quite familiar with the process. You go into the public bathroom and assess the situation. You feel slightly deflated because even if the seat looks clean, there is no way you're going to sit on it. So you squat. Which is why we all have super-strong thighs. Because we have no choice.

Now let's get to the real issue at hand. The work bathroom. This is one of the bathrooms that I don't feel all that uncomfortable letting go of the bathroom issues and actually sitting. Because it's not really a public bathroom. There's maximum 10 people who use it and seven of them are women. It gets cleaned every day. It's pretty much safe.


I just went in there and staring up at me, a dark gash against the stark white porcelain, was a hair. One loan hair

"AH!" I thought. "Ahhhhh!!!!"

Because a hair? In the bathroom? On the toilet? Ew, ew, ew, ew.

As I balled up the TP to swipe it into the bowl I tried to tell myself whatever I could to make myself feel better about The Hair.

"It's from someone's head/arm/leg....nose! It's got to be."

But you know it wasn't from someone's head/arm/leg or nose. And I know it too.



Dani said...

oh my god hahahahahahahhaha! I know how you feel. I have come to the conclusion that everyone is disgusting. I find that the work bathroom is either equally or more gross then the normal public restroom.

I am going to describe a couple of the nauseating things that I have seen in the work bathroom vs. the bathroom at my old job at the cafe vs. a normal public bathroom.

Example 1: Work Bathroom
I am kind of a creature of habit, well w/ some things. The woman's bathroom at work has 4 stalls: 3 regular and 1 handicap. I use to go in the handicap because I liked the space, but after seeing the poop on the bowl, yes that is ON THE BOWL and around the toilet, I declined on going in that stall ever again. I then started always using the first stall, that was until I saw the blood. If you are squirming yet, I will say this is only the beginning. I of course stopped using that one. I now use the second stall. I too saw many a hair in each of the stalls, ones which only reside on a specific area of the body, the pubic region. YUCK!

Example 2: Waterwheel Cafe bathroom
2 stalls. I just tried not to use that bathroom. This was when I started to train my body to not have to pee for 9 hours straight. That lasted from 10th grade until last year, but this is why. POOP ON THE WALLS!!! How can you miss the toilet by that much and was the poop flung? I have no idea! Once again, nauseating.

Example 3: Ordinary restroom
There is always a jumble of toilet paper because people don't understand that you can't flush a whole roll down the toilet. Take a few squares, that's really all you need. Then there is always pee on the seat. Give a courtesy wipe, it's not that hard.

So in conclusion, use a seat cover and keep those thighs in shape, you never know what bacteria is left on the seat.

Kate said...

That is actually much grosser than cockroach allergies. At least with the cockroach allergy in my case, because I don't recall ever coming in contact with (seeing) a cockroach, which would have skeeved me out beyond belief. Now hair on the toilet seat you see firsthand. Grosssss.

I love comments! Please feel free to comment at will!

PS - Good tip on the Dunkins. I've switched back to just plain ol' regular coffee, no more hazelnut grossness for me.