Sheltered

Elementary schools in Wyoming, Washington and Massachusetts have banned tag from recess. According to one principal, recess is "a time when accidents can happen."

Tag? Really? What about gym class? Isn't that "a time when accidents can happen"? I remember being hit with one or two dodge balls. My sister broke her arm running relays on wet grass, per the teacher's instructions. How many kids walk away with a black eye from softball? So based on this logic, shouldn't gym be banned too? And what about riding bikes? Or jumping rope? Or climbing the monkey bars? Because, people, these are times when accidents can happen!

I just don't understand why kids have to be so sheltered these days. We were all exposed to the same stuff. We're basically all OK. And those who aren't OK, can you really blame it on tag?

I used to work at a daycare. We'd play our games and sing our songs, but when it came to singing "There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly," well, forget it.

You know the words: "There was an old lady who swallowed a fly/I don't know why she swallowed a fly/perhaps she'll die.....there was a old lady who swallowed a horse. She died, of course!"

Well, we were instructed to change to words. To "perhaps she'll cry." Because oh no, don't let children hear the word "die". No, no. They'll have nightmares. They'll be scarred for life!

But let me just tell you, it's really a life lesson. Because if you swallowed a horse to catch the dog to catch the cat to catch the bird to catch the spider...the wriggled and wriggled and jiggled inside her....to catch the fly. Well kiddos, you'd probably die. That's what happens when you swallow foreign objects.

And what about Looney Tunes? Remember the great Saturday morning cartoons that we watched and our parents watched? Oh no. Not now. Too violent. I mean, kids might actually drop anvils on their friend's heads. And dropping anvils on people is wrong.

But Bratz, where cartoon tweens walk around in skanky outfits and babies are wearing high heels and makeup?

Well, that's OK. As long as they're not playing tag.