Fears

I hate driving next to trucks on the highway. My friend's mom was in an accident when she was in college caused by a truck moving into her lane without noticing her there. I think that story really scarred me. Even though she told it to me 20 years ago. I always find myself scooting alllll the way over to the side of the lane whenever a truck passes me.

I'm terrified of heights. I have no idea where this came from because I used to love roller coasters, trust falls and zip lines. A few years ago Michael and I were hiking in New Hampshire and came across an old fire tower that you could climb for a great view. We got half-way up and I started to shake. I couldn't move. It took all I had to get to the top, where I basically huddled in a corner and held on for dear life. Getting down was even worse. Ever since then I avoid being up high at all costs. Except for flying. I have no fear of flying. Weird.

I'm afraid of something happening to my parents. Especially my mom, a breast cancer survivor. I refuse to watch "Step Mom" or any other movie where the mother dies. We made the mistake of watching "The Family Stone" at Christmas. I had already seen it, but forgot how it ended. I was bawling at the end and hugging my mom like there was no tomorrow.

I'm scared of wasps.

Especially big ones.

With stingers.

A Day Of Practice...But Not That Much Fun

So newsflash: I survived the dentist. And big surprise, it wasn't such a big deal after all. I really have to work on this anxiety thing. It blows.

I arrived 15 minutes early. I was nervous. Really nervous. I looked around for a magazine but the selection was sub-par. Parenting or Seventeen? Seventeen it is.

"Guest Editor Hillary Duff!!!!" Ooooh boy. This should keep my mind off the dreaded needle for a few seconds. It didn't. I couldn't focus on Hillary's blinding smile, let alone remember if leopard print leggings meant your personality is "eclectic" or "wild."

So minus the details of filling my cavity....I made it. Yes, the hygienist had to hold my hands. But I'm ok with that.

When I got home Michael was just getting ready to go try out the sailboat for the first time. Did I want to come? Sure did! Visions of us sailing, wind blowing my hair as he took control of the sails all manly-like flashed before my eyes. How romantic! How exciting! How...New England!

Yeah. It didn't quite go exactly like that.

Let me just say that I know nothing about sailing. Michael was eager to teach me...and he was doing a really good job. He was patient and understanding when I was obviously not steering the boat into the wind like he asked me to. But in his quest to teach me all about sailing, he thought it best to use the correct terminology.

"Wrap the line around that cleat!"

"She's got [I can't remember the number] pounds of ballast." (Or something like that

Huh? Cleat? Like on shoes? Shoes I know. If he was shouting out "Stiletto!" or "Kitten heal!" or "T-Strap!" I'd be great. Of course, he was not. He might as well been speaking another language.

And did you know sailboats lean really far over when they sail? I did not know that.

And then it hit me. A sudden wave of nausea that left me dry heaving over the side of the boat. Greeeeaaaat. Sea sickness. Mom was right. I should have taken Dramamine. Lesson learned.

Eventually, the nausea passed, the boat was pointed into the wind and I looked up at my handsome Boy standing tall in his sailboat, his hair blowing in the wind.

It really wasn't so bad after all. In fact, I kind of loved it.

Dread

In 42 minutes I have to leave work to go to the dentist. Woo-hoo, you might think. But you would think wrong.

I hate the dentist.

If this were a routine cleaning visit I would be ok. But it's not. It's a cavity filling visit. A drilling in your tooth, novocaine injecting visit.

I am terrified of getting novocaine. The way some people feel about having their eyes touched is the way I feel about someone sticking a GIANT NEEDLE into my gums. Get the hell away!

It wasn't always this way. Not until I had my wisdom teeth removed the summer before I started college. I opted not to be put under (what was I thinking??) and had the laughing gas instead. This meant massive amounts of novocaine, including a white-hot, searing pain injection into the roof of my mouth. It brought tears to my eyes.

Have you ever had novocaine in your pallet? It makes a *snap*. Shudder.

So now, over five years later, I would rather stick my hand up an elephant's butt instead of getting novocaine.

Sure, I'm being a baby. Yeah, it's not going to be that much novocaine. Right, I'm going to be fine

But I can't see that right now. All I can see is the potential for BLINDING PAIN.

In preparation for the visit I brought with me to work my toothbrush, (toothpaste already in the work bathroom!) floss and mouthwash. You know you do it too....make your teeth immaculate right before the dentist in the hopes that you will trick them into thinking you're always that on top of things

Perhaps if I had been so diligent about oral care before I would not be in this position now.

Such Great Heights

I'm terrified of heights. Roller coasters, bridges, bleachers....forget it. I didn't even know I was so scared until Michael and I climbed a fire tower once while hiking and I froze midway and had to be talked down.

So, needless to say, I was not entirely thrilled when I learned my office would be participating in a team building excursion, complete with a high ropes course. *Gulp*

The day started off well with various ice breakers, but in the back of my mind I knew the high ropes were coming.

We made our way over to the course and looming in front of us was a 30 foot rock wall. We put on our harnesses and gathered around the base of the wall. My boss went first. He had been adamant that he would not be able to reach a certain mark on the wall. He passed right by it and made it more than half way. That was really inspiring.

Then another co-worker took her turn, shimming up the wall like she was a monkey. Yeah, right. There is no way I could do that.

And then it was my turn. I didn't want to go. NOT AT ALL. But my co-workers were really encouraging and I figured if I could just get a couple feet up it was an accomplishment.

Well, I got more than a couple feet. With directions and encouragement from my co-workers on the ground I pushed through my shaking (like a leaf in the wind...making it really hard to hold on!) and navigated the wall almost to the very top.

My rope had been caught on one of the rocks so as I made my descent my body was hurled around the wall to the back, smashing my left arm against the wall. Then I made it down the rest of the way correctly.

With tears in my eyes my feet touched the ground and I was applauded by my co-workers. It was pretty cool.

I was so frazzled afterwards, what with my adrenaline through the roof, that I began frantically searching for my sunglasses.

"I know I had sunglasses before," I said. "Where are they?"

"Molly," my boss laughed. "You're wearing them!"

Oh. Right.

So now I have a huge bruise on my arm and my body is sore from using muscles I didn't know I had. But that bruise is proof that I did it.

And damn it, that feels really good.