100 Things I Learned From My Mom

Inspired by Alissa's list.

1. Always be polite.
2. Always keep a savings account and hold your own checkbook, even when you’re married.
3. You’re never too old to cozy.
4. If you want long hair, you have to take care of it.
5. You didn’t actually vacuum if you went around the shoes.
6. Lying is hurtful and disrespectful.
7. No one can take away your education.
8. You should always have enough money for first and last month’s rent, an unexpected car problem and a good pair of shoes.
9. Sometimes ice cream before dinner is OK.
10. A man should be hardworking, educated and kind. He must have a sense of humor and a job. He must respect you.
11. No matter what, you can always come home.
12. Fingers do not belong in your nose…unless they are clean. And never in public.
13. There is a very fine line between tasteful and inappropriate cleavage.
14. Always call or send a thank-you card.
15. You can accomplish anything if you work hard.
16. Tattoos and body piercings that are chic now eventually go out of style the same way clothing and hairstyles do. Tattoos are forever (and I will be out of the will.)
17. Travel.
18. Do not make fun of people who are different from you.
19. Good friends are important.
20. Always keep good dark chocolate in the house.
21. Hot dogs and spaghetti are boring. Eat ethnic food!
22. Learn a foreign language.
23. Know the history behind different religions.
24. Don’t let people push you around. Compose your thoughts and make your point.
25. Exercise.
26. Play an instrument. (Or two)
27. Laugh.
28. Say “I Love You.”
29. Dance around your living room in your socks to good music.
30. Read for pleasure.
31. Money doesn’t grow on trees. You have to earn it.
32. Family always comes first.
33. Driving is a privilege, not a right.
34. Making your bed makes the whole room look neater.
35. A hotel room doesn’t have to be fancy, but it must have clean sheets and a clean bathroom.
36. The sun makes you happy.
37. Don’t drink and drive.
38. Don’t clean the kitchen sink with the bathroom sponge.
39. Plant a garden.
40. Drink soy milk.
41. Take vitamins.
42. Take chances.
43. If you need your mom, she’s there. Day or night.
44. Burritos are a quick dinner that always tastes good.
45. Always make a traveling pee pee.
46. You might look funny in snow boots, but your feet will be warm and dry.
47. Take pictures.
48. Write.
49. Never leave candles unattended.
50. Good sheets make all the difference.
51. How to make the perfect “dip dip” egg.
52. Every Christmas ornament has a story.
53. To value myself.
54. To be open-minded.
55. That even though women are completely capable, sometimes it’s easier to hire a man to tile a floor or paint a wall.
56. It’s OK to cry at movies.
57. That when you have to go, you have to go. Everybody poops.
58. A messy closet is an unhappy closet.
59. A mirror can make the whole room look bigger.
60. Cheese is a necessity.
61. It’s OK to love shoes.
62. Eyeliner makes small eyes bigger.
63. Don’t procrastinate.
64. That when the leaves show their palms, it’s going to rain.
65. There’s nothing better than a maple sugar candy.
66. Wear sunscreen.
67. Floss.
68. Be on top of current events.
69. Hair grows back, but don’t mess with it too much.
70. Sing.
71. Get your oil changed.
72. Balance your checkbook.
73. That she’s proud of me.
74. Smile.
75. You can love the ocean without actually going in it.
76. Don’t eat too much candy. It will rot your teeth.
77. And if it does, get the white filling.
78. Learn your family history.
79. Appreciate art.
80. Don’t eat processed foods.
81. Drink lots of fluids when you’re sick.
82. Get lots of calcium.
83. Call just to say hi.
84. Eliminate clutter.
85. It's true, socks do disappear in the dryer.
86. Dress appropriately for an interview.
87. It’s OK to flirt.
88. Always carry a Bandaid, Advil and Chapstick.
89. Eat tomatoes and peas right off the vine.
90. Get a hummingbird feeder.
91. Drive slowly in the snow.
92. When tying your shoes bunny ears work just as well as the other way.
93. Believe in something bigger than yourself.
94. Wear interesting jewelry.
95. Voting is a right that not everyone in the world is fortunate to have. Use it.
96. Brunettes are even sexier than blondes because they have more mystery and soul. They didn’t get a free ride because of their hair color – they earned it.
97. A girl can buy her own diamonds.
98. Trust your instincts.
99. Learn from your mistakes.
100. Your mother is always right.

Fears

I hate driving next to trucks on the highway. My friend's mom was in an accident when she was in college caused by a truck moving into her lane without noticing her there. I think that story really scarred me. Even though she told it to me 20 years ago. I always find myself scooting alllll the way over to the side of the lane whenever a truck passes me.

I'm terrified of heights. I have no idea where this came from because I used to love roller coasters, trust falls and zip lines. A few years ago Michael and I were hiking in New Hampshire and came across an old fire tower that you could climb for a great view. We got half-way up and I started to shake. I couldn't move. It took all I had to get to the top, where I basically huddled in a corner and held on for dear life. Getting down was even worse. Ever since then I avoid being up high at all costs. Except for flying. I have no fear of flying. Weird.

I'm afraid of something happening to my parents. Especially my mom, a breast cancer survivor. I refuse to watch "Step Mom" or any other movie where the mother dies. We made the mistake of watching "The Family Stone" at Christmas. I had already seen it, but forgot how it ended. I was bawling at the end and hugging my mom like there was no tomorrow.

I'm scared of wasps.

Especially big ones.

With stingers.

From Now On Our Troubles Will Be Miles Away?

It's the last day before vacation and while I am looking forward to the break and seeing my family, I am very aware that this holiday will not be all merry and bright. This is going to be a hard Christmas.

My sister has caused the family a lot of heartache and stress lately. Trust has been lost. A lot of feelings have been hurt. A lot of tears have been shed. And while I'm still looking forward to seeing everyone, embracing them in hugs and watching them open their gifts, a part of my holiday spirit has really died.

I'm so tired. I'm tired of crying at night. I'm tired from crying at night. I'm already counting down the minutes until today is over because each day that passes is one day closer to things getting better. I hope.

I know we'll all pull together as a family and make the most of the holiday and the time we have together. I am thankful for them and for Michael, who has been my rock and supplier of hugs through all of this. Without him I would be lost.

Happy holidays to all of you.

Hard

I feel sick. Someone I love very much is slowly and deliberately throwing their life down the toilet. Not only are they being hurtful and manipulative to the people I care about, they're being extremely self-destructive.

It's so hard. It's so hard to watch this happen and not be able to do anything about it. To see all their potential and talent be pushed aside. For what?

The lies. I'm so tired of the lies. So tired of looking into their eyes and not knowing if their words are true. Having to wonder, how did this happen? Why did this happen?

I want to shake them, slap them, hug them. Anything to save them from this downward spiral.

I feel used. Played. Because I believed them. Wanted to believe that they were giving their real self to me. I was wrong.

I have a pit in my stomach that won't go away. I'm anxious and I don't do well with anxiety. I want this to be better. But will it get better?

It's out of my hands.

And I'm scared.

I Don't Even Want To Look At Turkey

This long weekend was so nice. I spent time with my family, ate lots and lots and lots of food, visited with Dani California and almost completed all my Christmas shopping. It was great.

Getting to NY, however, was not so nice. A trip that should have taken me two hours from work took FOUR. I even left early to prevent getting stuck. But no. I should have known. I-84 is pure hell. I sat in stand-still traffic for almost two hours until I couldn't take it anymore. After getting alternate directions from my mom I got off the highway, drove 10 minutes...and got stuck behind an accident. At this point my blood was boiling. I was tired, I was hungry and my butt hurt from sitting so long. I said, the hell with it, I was two exits away from where I needed to be. I'd just get back on the highway and deal with it.

So that's what I did. And wouldn't you know that not five minutes later the traffic broke and I was on my way. The cause of the traffic? NOTHING!!!! No accident, no exit, no merge. Nothing. I hate I-84.

As for shopping, I got gifts for Michael's mother, the children she's fostering, my aunt and gifts for Michael to give to people. I even got something for me. I've wanted a reed diffuser forever but couldn't find one. I thought it would be so nice for my desk at work. And this weekend Pier 1 was having a big sale and had them! Yay! And I bought new pillows for the couch because I am oh so domestic.

All and all a great weekend. And it was so nice to come home to Michael and the big dog yesterday. Kodiak nearly knocked me over with kisses when I came in the door. So cute! And Michael was full of I love you's and hugs and kisses and I know he missed me.

And now that Thanksgiving is over it is officially time for Christmas music, candles in the windows and a wreath on the door.

I love the holidays.

Rambling Because It Feels Like A Friday

In less than three hours I will begin my trip home to NY. I'm crossing my fingers that by taking a half-day and leaving way before rush hour I will not get stuck in boat loads (car loads?) of traffic.

I'm really looking forward to the trip. I don't get to see my family often and I miss them a lot. My mom has lots of Hawaii pictures to show me, my sister has a new hair color every time I come home (I think it's dark blue this time) and it's THANKSGIVING which means one of my favorite foods of all time: stuffing. In abundance. All weekend. The gym and I will reconnect after Sunday.

I'll also get to visit with some high school friends that I haven't seen in forever. There are the select few that I'm really excited about seeing but then there are those random people that you know you will run into at the bar and the general feeling is eh. The ones that no matter how many years it's been since you walked those halls together still ask you what your high school boyfriend is up to (no clue) or if you remember that time so and so said so and so and it was SO FUNNY! (Um, no, sorry. I don't recall that.)

Michael and I have spent the last four Christmases together but we've always split up Thanksgiving. It's easier with work schedules and then his mother doesn't feel slighted. (If we don't travel we spend Christmas with my family.) I will miss him lots and lots but then it will be so nice to see him again on Sunday.

Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving and think of me when you eat lots and lots of stuffing.

We're So Related

The conversation I had with my sister last night was classic Us. It went something like this....

Sister: I really hate those commercials for the pads with the wipe attached.

Me: Yeah, they're kind of gross, but I guess it's a good idea.

S: I guess, but they're all, "Hi, I'm dirty. I need a wipe."

M: Ha. Ew.

S: At least the Summer's Eve commercials are more vague. They're more "Feel Fresh!" You don't know, they could be talking about your feet.

This was followed by a very serious discussion on ice cream.

S: I don't like mint chocolate chip ice cream. But I feel like I should. It's kind of the way I feel about pickles and Shakespeare.

M: -------

S: Every time I get a pickle with a sandwich I take a bite hoping hoping I will like it. But I don't. So I take another bite because I think that if I keep eating it I will eventually like it. But I don't really like that bite either. So I finish the pickle because I must like it if I eat the whole thing. But in the end, I still don't like it.

M: But pickles are a food and a drink in one!

S: That is so disgusting.

M: It's a quote from Friends.

S: Of course it is.

M: And Shakespeare?

S: Oh, I just don't like Shakespeare

M: Right.....

Seriously, could we be any more related? (Catch the Chandler reference? Oh, yeah.)

Pink!

It's October and that means it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Go Pink to raise awareness and support the fighters and survivors and help raise money to find a cure.

Go here daily and click to fund free mammograms.

I love you Mom!

6,218 Days Ago

I became a big sister.

I was so proud. I wore a button with her picture on it to my first grade class. I showed everyone and told them that she was my little sister.

I relished every second of those early moments of being a big sister. I would sit and look at her, smell her baby smell and invevitably, I got in her face and made her cry. It was great.

Eventually, being seven years apart showed its ugly side. She followed me everywhere. She copied everything I did. She always was underfoot. What I know now was just the highest form of flattery, I found to be annoying and irritating then. She drove me nuts.

So I did what any normal 12 year old would do. I dropped shoes on the staircase so she would hear it think I walked downstairs. I told her we found her in a field. I told her the Big Bad Wolf was in our room.

Luckily, she doesn't hold this against me.

One day my sister was no longer a five year old child following me around. She was a really unique, intelligent tween who I liked spending time with.

The day I moved into my college dorm was really hard. She held me tight and didn't want me to leave.

I'm going home this weekend to see my beautiful, talented 17 year old sister perform in a play.

The little girl with BIG EYES is all grown up.

I am so proud to be her sister.