From Now On Our Troubles Will Be Miles Away?

It's the last day before vacation and while I am looking forward to the break and seeing my family, I am very aware that this holiday will not be all merry and bright. This is going to be a hard Christmas.

My sister has caused the family a lot of heartache and stress lately. Trust has been lost. A lot of feelings have been hurt. A lot of tears have been shed. And while I'm still looking forward to seeing everyone, embracing them in hugs and watching them open their gifts, a part of my holiday spirit has really died.

I'm so tired. I'm tired of crying at night. I'm tired from crying at night. I'm already counting down the minutes until today is over because each day that passes is one day closer to things getting better. I hope.

I know we'll all pull together as a family and make the most of the holiday and the time we have together. I am thankful for them and for Michael, who has been my rock and supplier of hugs through all of this. Without him I would be lost.

Happy holidays to all of you.

We're So Related

The conversation I had with my sister last night was classic Us. It went something like this....

Sister: I really hate those commercials for the pads with the wipe attached.

Me: Yeah, they're kind of gross, but I guess it's a good idea.

S: I guess, but they're all, "Hi, I'm dirty. I need a wipe."

M: Ha. Ew.

S: At least the Summer's Eve commercials are more vague. They're more "Feel Fresh!" You don't know, they could be talking about your feet.

This was followed by a very serious discussion on ice cream.

S: I don't like mint chocolate chip ice cream. But I feel like I should. It's kind of the way I feel about pickles and Shakespeare.

M: -------

S: Every time I get a pickle with a sandwich I take a bite hoping hoping I will like it. But I don't. So I take another bite because I think that if I keep eating it I will eventually like it. But I don't really like that bite either. So I finish the pickle because I must like it if I eat the whole thing. But in the end, I still don't like it.

M: But pickles are a food and a drink in one!

S: That is so disgusting.

M: It's a quote from Friends.

S: Of course it is.

M: And Shakespeare?

S: Oh, I just don't like Shakespeare

M: Right.....

Seriously, could we be any more related? (Catch the Chandler reference? Oh, yeah.)

6,218 Days Ago

I became a big sister.

I was so proud. I wore a button with her picture on it to my first grade class. I showed everyone and told them that she was my little sister.

I relished every second of those early moments of being a big sister. I would sit and look at her, smell her baby smell and invevitably, I got in her face and made her cry. It was great.

Eventually, being seven years apart showed its ugly side. She followed me everywhere. She copied everything I did. She always was underfoot. What I know now was just the highest form of flattery, I found to be annoying and irritating then. She drove me nuts.

So I did what any normal 12 year old would do. I dropped shoes on the staircase so she would hear it think I walked downstairs. I told her we found her in a field. I told her the Big Bad Wolf was in our room.

Luckily, she doesn't hold this against me.

One day my sister was no longer a five year old child following me around. She was a really unique, intelligent tween who I liked spending time with.

The day I moved into my college dorm was really hard. She held me tight and didn't want me to leave.

I'm going home this weekend to see my beautiful, talented 17 year old sister perform in a play.

The little girl with BIG EYES is all grown up.

I am so proud to be her sister.