Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Oh Baby, Baby

I want a baby. Not like, right this minute, but one day. Actually, I want two. Or three. But probably two. Over the last year or so my desire to be a mother has intensified. I'll see a tiny dress in Marshalls and imagine dressing my own daughter in it. Or I'll notice a baby-sized ball cap and picture it on the peach fuzz covered head of my baby boy. And the shoes! Oh the shoes! Itty bitty packages of cuteness.

Maybe it's because most of our couple friends are having babies. Or my time spent working in a daycare allowed for hours of chubby cheek kissing. Or the fact that I feel even more in love with Michael than I did five years ago and the visions of our future are feeling more like a reality and less like a dream.

I realize it's not entirely realistic for me to be pining for a baby of my own. There's that whole getting married thing. And the fact I'm not exactly ready for the life change that comes with having a child. I like my mid-week martini dates, weekends out and the freedom to come and go as I please.

For now.

But someday. Who knows, in three of four years I could be a mom.

That's completely terrifying and absolutely amazing at the same time.

8 comments:

Rose said...

I feel exactly the same way. =)

Ripe for Reading said...

I can feel where you're coming from : )

Princess Taj said...

2-3 years ago when I thought Captain Asshole was the one, I was so ready to be a wife and mother. Since then I haven't been able to picture my life with anyone else long term (well, Scott, but that's just a hypothetical).

I'm convinced the wife/mother isn't in the stars for me. I hope a day comes when I can un-convince myself :)

Sasha said...

I've been that way the past year or so too. It is quite frustrating to feel all of these urges when you know you aren't ready and aren't married... but but but... I want a baby!

Alissa said...

I know how you feel! Do you have any nieces or nephews? They help to fill the void and bide some time :)

Molly said...

Haha...all of our clocks are ticking! Alissa- no nieces or nephews. My sister is only 17 so I don't see that happening for a long time!

RusticateGirl said...

I have a 4-month old boy.

I never wanted kids. Ever.

Until I remarried 2 years ago and suddenly it seemed so natural to want a baby with my husband. THAT'S when you know it's right. No other reason.

I'm 34. There are pros & cons to waiting. I envy the 20-something moms for their energy and naivety. Yet at the same time, I'm 100% sure I made the right decision. I traveled. I had martini dates. I experienced a lot. I did things spur of the moment.

And now I'm a mom, and it feels just fine.

Forget what your friends are doing. Do what you do. And don't take for granted the freedom you have every day to do whatever it is you wish. Enjoy it!

I did, and I can look back knowing that was a great time in my life, and now this is, too :-)

Anonymous said...

I feel the same way as everyone else, but is there anyway to squash these urges down into my shoes or something for a few more years, until I can convince my husband that we're ready for a baby???