Atonement

I'm not Jewish (although someone would argue I am) but today is Yom Kippur. And I think everyone should have a day to atone their sins. So here we go

Michael, I'm sorry I took the last granola bar this morning. I knew you wanted it, but I really wanted it. So I grabbed it before you went to the cabinet.

Old Friend, I'm sorry I've been ignoring your phone calls lately. It's just that you've been so negative lately and you get bitchy when you hear I'm happy.

Mom, I'm sorry I don't come home more. I really love to be home, but I hate the drive. And life gets in the way. I miss you.

Shay, I'm sorry I told you we found you in a field. And I'm sorry I talk to you like a parent sometimes. It's just that I love you so much and I worry about you.

People I make fun of in my blog, I'm sorry if I offend you. But you make for really good material.

Teenage girls at the movie theater, I'm sorry I went "New York" on you a few weeks ago. But you were cutting a long line of people. And if I have to stand behind old-guy-with-gross-gray-greasy-ponytail, you have to too.

Woman that I avoided calling back until the last possible minute because, really, I heard you the first time when you said, "Well, I'm a writer. This is important.," well, I'm really not too sorry about that.

Kodiak, I'm sorry I didn't take you out to pee the other morning. I thought Michael had before he left for work and I took your whining to be you were in an annoying mood. I'm sorry you didn't pee for over 12 hours. I felt like such a bad parent but you were a good boy and didn't pee in the house. Thanks for that.

Ladies of 38 BP, I'm sorry I don't call you as much as I should. I miss you all so much, I'm just bad with the phone.

Spiders on the living room wall, I'm sorry I vacuumed you up. I try to be kind to all nature, but well, you're spiders.

Boss man, I'm sorry I make fun of your taste in music. But hey, you make fun of me too. We're even.

Michael, I'm sorry I left the laundry in the dryer for three days and then got mad that you didn't take it out. You didn't know it was in there because I forgot to tell you. Actually, I don't think you even knew I was mad.

Ok. I feel better.