Religion has always been a strange topic for me. Growing up my family was not religious. My mom (raised Catholic) and my dad (raised Jewish) had both stopped practicing by their teens. My sister and I were raised being taught values and kindness and celebrating holidays with both sides of the family, but we did not attend church or temple on a regular basis.
My mom made sure to teach us a little history behind both religions, but since there was no weekly reminders (like CCD) eventually the stories faded away. And while everything was fine and I never really felt like I was missing anything, a part of me was envious of my friends and cousins. Like they were privy to a members-only club that held secret information. If you weren't in, you didn't get it.
As I got older and my friends weren't running off to CCD or the JCC after school anymore, religion just became something in the background. I developed by own beliefs of something greater than myself. Something along the lines of nature. But whenever asked about it I could never give a strong definition. I'd just say I didn't associate myself with either religion, but I believed that yes, there is a God whatever He (or She) may be.
The first time I realized this was going to be a problem was when I began dating my high school boyfriend. He was Jewish. His mother had married a non-Jewish man but decided to raise her children as her religion.
She never liked me. Which I found very hypocritical.
No matter how polite I was or how often I tried to discuss other topics with her there was always that underlying feeling of disapproval. I couldn't win.
Religion took a back seat again in college until things became serious with Michael. He was raised in a very religious home, and while he does not practice like he did as a child, it is still important to him. As we discussed our future together I began to get nervous. Couples break up over religion. Would he be willing to accept who I am and what I do (and do not) believe? Would I be able to accept his beliefs?
The short answer is yes. After much discussion I learned that while it is important to him that religion play a role in his and his children's lives, it is not all consuming. And he accepts whatever path I choose to take.
His mother does not accept this and it will always be an issue. But that's another story. (I just can't win with mothers!)
That being said, I am curious about it. So without him knowing I started doing some research. Because while I know a little, I can barely scratch the surface of what the Bible is all about. I did some research and bought a book that breaks it down and really explains everything. I was reading it in bed the other night when Michael got home. He saw what I was reading and questioned me about it. After I explained he smiled and kissed me. Because he knows that while it's mostly for me, it's also for him. For us. Because if it's important to him, I want to understand.
This does not mean that I'm converting to Catholicism. Not even close. I still have a lot of problems with some of what the church stands for. And I am very liberal, which rubs a lot of people the wrong way (Especially his mother).
But I'm learning. And we'll see where it goes from here.
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5 comments:
I highly recommend the book "Velvet Elvis" by Rob Bell. He's brilliant and has real problems with organized religion, he has this way of explaining the bible in such a basic, easy to relate way. I'm reading his second book right now and each time I hear him speak, or read one of his books I think "huh, there is hope for this Christianity thing yet" :)
just for the record, my mom loves you!
I have just as much issues w/ religion, so I try to pretend it doesn't exist. The only time it tends to come up is on specific holidays. Luckily for me, I have a significant other who feels the same way as I do when it comes to religion.
You're such a sweetheart to take the time out to learn more. I give you props! Does anyone even say that anymore? Probably not!
This post hits especially close to home and makes me want to write about my religious up bringing. But for the record, having been raised in a very religious family... even when you are "in" the club, you still feel like you don't fit... Or at least I did...
why i am not advocating that you embrace religion, there is need to probe further and make enquiry from those who seem to be religious and whose lives you still admire. No matter what their sides of beliefs are. why dont you begin your research with the bible and just read what is inside . may be it may offer a clue. But remember you dont have to agree with everything initially.
While you're reading that, have your boyfriend and his mother read The End of Faith by Sam Harris. It's about the problems and absurdities of organized religion.
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