Monday, November 20, 2006

I Survived

I survived IKEA. And thank you for all the tips because I really did eat the granola bar and drink my bottled water. And broke out the one pair of non-gym sneakers I own. (Cute little red ones that Michael calls wrestling shoes, if you were curious.)

As we approached IKEA I was still undaunted. Sure, it was big, but we snagged a parking space easily and headed towards the Returns entrance. Once inside, my friend returned a rug quickly and smoothly and we were off to the main entrance.

Here's where it starts to get complicated.

The airport-like signs direct you to two different locations: Showroom and Marketplace. Where to start? Look, all those people are getting in the elevator. We'll get in it too. DING! Ooooh look! The Showroom! With every available room set up you could imagine. Bathrooms, full kitchens, bedrooms, offices! But wait, how come I can't go over to that bedroom? I can see it...I. Just. Can't. Get. There.

No. You have to stay on The Path. The Path that winds around and around and around and AROUND until you've seen every single set up in the showroom. It's a great marketing plan. It's a pain in the ass. I looked longingly at the exit doors that warn you ALARM WILL SOUND. It's all a ploy. I bet the alarm wouldn't sound. They just want to scare you so you'll stay on The Path. It worked.

Oh, did I mention we had also already grabbed a cart? Yeah. We did. So we pushed it, empty, around and around and around....

We finally made it to the end, hopped on the elevator and arrived at the Marketplace. I was tempted to buy a lot more than I did. After looking at every imaginable piece of glassware, kitchen gadgets and storage containers, we made it to the rugs. This was the real reason for the trip and I'm not kidding when I say we spent almost 45 minutes in this section alone.

While looking at rugs there was an odd woman who appeared to be following us wherever we went. She even made a comment that she wasn't following us, which makes it even more evident that she was. And she was following us holding this in the air and saying out loud that one was more yellow than the other and it was probably because the sheep rolled in something. Great.

Overall, the IKEA trip was successful, albeit a little overwhelming. And that granola bar tasted great between Lighting and Home Decor.

What did I buy? I bought a Marienta Ruta, a Signe and an Alvine Satin. That's two rugs for the kitchen and a duvet cover, respectively. I didn't eat any Swedish meatballs, but the cinnamon buns did smell tasty.

Truth be told, I don't think I'll be going back any time soon. I needed a nap when it was over!

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