Growing up I was always very thin. So thin, in fact, that an 8th grade french trip to Quebec was nearly ruined by a group of girlfriends who turned on me and told everyone I was anorexic. Which I was not.
I started dancing when I was three and by 17 I was a thin girl with a dancer's body. But I never really thought much about my weight. I was how I was.
And then came college. And the late nights and the dining hall food and the drinking. And consequently, a few extra pounds. I started working out and got healthy again, but the body I had in high school is long gone. I enjoy the curves that come with being a woman, and I get compliments on my body, but every now and then I am find I’m still unhappy with it.
I know I’m going to get flack for this. Michael will tell me I’m crazy. Friends will tell me that at 24 I wouldn’t want the body of an 18 year old. And maybe it’s true that only I hate my thighs.
A friend of mine is coming to visit this weekend. I am so happy that she will be here but a part of me is apprehensive about it. She’s tiny…just over 5 feet and has lost a lot of weight since college. She looks great and I’m happy for her. But there’s that voice in the back of my head that won’t stop comparing myself to her. When she’s around I feel like a house despite my 5’6”, size 6 frame.
Do men have these issues or is it reserved strictly to women? Because it really sucks.
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6 comments:
I can totally relate to this since I was very thin growing up, danced since I was 3 and gained curves--then weight--mostly attributed to cheap beer and lots of fatty
foods--during college. I lost weight and went down in size, but I'm still not happy because I'm not what I was in high school and ideally I would like to drop one more size.
I lost weight for the wedding and made it that extra size smaller--almost 2 sizes smaller, mostly because I was too busy/stressed/busy to eat--nevermind exercise--and that was probably the smallest I've been since pre-college. But after the honeymoon and now my sporadic gym trips, I could be doing better. As long as you're happy with you and do as you're doing to be healthy, there is nothing to fret about. But society likes to make us believe there is something wrong with anything but thin. That is completely unfair.
you know I can totally relate to that as well. I actually started getting heavier as high school went on. That came w/ being a little bit depressed and trying to figure out who I was.
However, once college came, I actually lost the weight. Summer of freshman year I was at my absolute best. I looked great and hadn't felt that great since I was 13. I remained at a good weight until after I graduated school.
Now almost three years later, I am going through the same thing once again. I have put on a little bit of weight and can barely fit into any of my pants.
I complain about it all the time, but just finally started going to the gym again.
My only gripe is why can't the weight go away fast?
Now, don't compare yourself to anybody else. There is no need for that. You have always looked great. And this is coming from a girl who has known you since you were 4!
I'm pretty sure it's just women that go through this. Why we feel the need to compete with each other is crazy.
I think everyone goes through these times. I was just thinking on the way to work how today I am happy with how I am. But I remember a month ago feeling like a heifer and not much has changed between now and then. I usually find that I feel bad about the way I look when I am feeling insecure or bummed about something else.
I totally understand. I was vomiting non-stop for two entire days and all I kept thinking was, "I hope I lose weight." It's sick.
OMG, I can totally relate. I still have 8 postpartum lbs to lose and it is freaking me out. I talked to a high school friend today who I hadn't talked to in 10 years, and the first thing I thought about when she mentioned getting together was about my extra weight. And I'm 121 lbs right now! It's terrible to think like that but it is what it is.
Oh my, I totally know how you feel. I had a great dancer body for years and slowly it went down hill (nothing drastic, but more flab than fab.) Then I had to have a surgery and couldn't do anything and gained a little more weight and now just feel useless.
I have to go back home and be in a wedding in April and have just been given clearance by the doctor people to work out again. Heres to hoping I can be in somewhat acceptable shape by then.
15lbs and more definition. Possible??
Women are obsesive and crazy... :(
-Laura
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